Episode 14

#14 How to Have Perfect Relationships

Danielle, from The Single Truth podcast, and I, are back with the wonderfully insightful Yogi Amrit Desai (affectionately known as Gurudev) for a discussion on how to have perfect relationships. We delve deep into what is needed to achieve this with help from Gurudev's book 'The Yoga of Relationships' and also go through some real-life examples that you can apply to your own life.

Gurudev also takes us through a brilliant meditation which is certainly worth doing at the end! I really enjoyed this conversation and I hope you do too.

Key Takeaways:

Once you have the power to accept yourself as you are, you have the power to accept others as they are.
Often in relationships, people look for others to provide what they are lacking in themselves. You will not find it because the problem is hidden inside you!
Most people interact with the present through the eyes of their past. It's important to let go of the past and your 'toxic memory stress centre' in order to live in the present moment and be truly happy.
We can get so caught up in finding the right partner that we forget to be the right partner.
You don't have to be perfect in self-acceptance all the time! As long as you have the intention, practice is key.
No one can control the thinking of others!

So sit back, enjoy with an open mind - Stay Curious, and Stay Free and, very importantly, please do let us know what you think in the comments or the reviews. Thank you.

Episode Guest:

Gurudev Shri Amritji is one of a handful of Gurus who came to America in the early 1960's, pioneering a Yoga craze that has grown into the massive worldwide yoga practices we know today. He is the last living Guru from this initial wave.

Over the past 57 years, Amritji has founded some of the largest not-for-profit yoga centers in North America. The seeds of yoga he has planted have since grown into the Yoga Society of Pennsylvania, (founded in 1966), which became the largest of its kind by 1970. From the time he first began training yoga teachers in the early 1960s, today there are a total of more than 10,000 certified Yoga and Yoga Nidra teachers in more than 40 countries around the world.

Amritji founded two not-for-profit Kripalu Yoga Ashrams and program centers, one in Sumneytown, PA, in 1971 (with a resident staff of 50) that quickly expanded into a second center at Summit Station, PA, in 1976. This new center grew to a resident staff size of 150. By 1983, the Kripalu Yoga Centre (founded in Massachusetts) proved to be the largest Yoga and Health Centre in North America. A thriving international Yoga Center with 350 full-time resident and volunteer staff, this center accommodated more than 300 guests.

Under Amritji’s guidance, those disciples committed to the lineage and its teachings and became his acharyas - qualified to lead his programmes and yoga teacher training, not only at Kripalu but internationally.

In 2001, Amritji founded the Amrit Yoga Institute (AYI) in Salt Springs, Florida which has become a thriving international yoga and ayurveda center, where he presently resides and teaches.

You can learn more about GuruDev at:

Episode Guest:

Danielle Matthews: In June of 2012 Danielle was hit by a drunk driver and sustained a traumatic brain injury, setting her life on a different course. Her inspiring story and perspective has touched thousands around the world. Her intention is to use what she learned to impact the lives of others by educating on mindsets, technologies, and techniques that can empower them to get the most out of life.

Danielle is the co-founder of The Single Truth Podcast - with some great content coming soon!

Connect with Danielle:

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Disclaimer: The purpose of this podcast is to keep curious and keep free. The opinions of the guests do not necessarily represent the opinions of the host and vice versa - exploring different opinions is key to growth. The content in this podcast and on this website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical or veterinary advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified healthcare professional with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical or veterinary advice because of something you have heard on my podcast or website.

Transcript

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I think today's conversation was

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very, very special.

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I will certainly be going back.

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I will listen to it multiple times

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because, as you say, knowing the

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theory is one thing, but doing the

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inner work, putting into practise,

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practise, practise, practise is

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absolutely key.

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Hello. I am your host,

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Catherine Edwards, from the Live

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Love Learn podcast.

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And once again, I'm back with my

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amazing co-host, Danielle

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Mathews from the Single

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Truth podcast.

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Now, Danielle, we have just had

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the second in our series

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of just absolutely wonderful

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conversations with Yogi Amarit

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Desai, who is

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affectionately known as Gurudev.

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And this time we are following on

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from last discussion on the

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ego.

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Extracts from this book, The Yoga of

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Relationships.

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We've just finished a beautiful

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meditation with him.

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How was it for you and what were

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some of your key takeaways,

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Danielle?

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Well, I think I'm still coming back

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and being grounded here.

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Gurudev holds such a beautiful

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presence and any time I do a

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meditation in his

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presence, be it through Zoom or

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in-person, I go really

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deep. So I'm incredibly grateful

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that he gifted that to everyone.

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And I hope everyone sits and

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experiences that.

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But today's conversation,

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I mean, I've been reading this book

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now, like going back through it.

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I have so many highlights sitting

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here and getting to actually

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go in with him and dissect

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it because it's a lot of theory in

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the book, which all sounds good and

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you can go, Okay, yeah, I get it.

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But then when the rubber hits the

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road, you

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know, you're getting challenged in

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life with your partner or with

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politician's decisions.

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And when you actually have to apply

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what he's saying, like it can be

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difficult. And you know, I was

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really grateful for yourself asking

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some questions and I was bringing up

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stuff from my own personal

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relationships of like, how do we

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actually deal with this in the

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moment? Because it's not so

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easy.

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You know, we've reached a time where

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we can't keep projecting outside

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of ourselves and expecting something

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else to change.

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We have to take self-responsibility

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and, you know, just keep moving

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forward. Otherwise,

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our world is not going to change

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around us if we keep doing the same

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things. So I'm with you.

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I go so deep with his meditations.

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They're short people, you know, I

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didn't really time it, but probably

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10 minutes and

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I'm very excited to see the

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feedback. Danielle I'm really

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excited that Gurudev has offered

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both our listeners the exciting

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opportunity to ask him some

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questions in the next

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video. So

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that is a great opportunity for

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anyone listening, isn't it?

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It is, because when you go

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to apply this in your life, you're

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immediately going to get a kick back

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like, well, it can't work here.

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What about this situation?

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Or This is unforgivable and

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he has this beautiful spirit.

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What I love is he when he teaches

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and he you take these intense

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situations to him, he brings

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this piece into it and he says,

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No, no, no. It really is as simple

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as just dissolving it.

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Now, I think he said today, fire

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the judge and hire the witness.

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Yes. And I thought, wow,

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what a profound statement

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to realise. Like all of that chatter

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in the mind, that's the judge, the

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ego. If you can just put that aside

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and witness what's going on

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and create some distance from it,

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you realise that you do

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have more choices than you think and

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it's so empowering and I

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think it it can be difficult though,

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Catherine, honestly for people to

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take this in because

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Gurudev leaves no space for you to

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be a victim of circumstance.

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That is your responsibility.

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Any conflict in your relationship,

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a problem you're having in life, at

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work, whatever it might be like,

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it's squarely rooted within you.

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And I think that's a hard pill to

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swallow initially.

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But then once you realise that, I'm

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like, it's the most empowering thing

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to realise, wow, no, I have the

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ability to shift and change and

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thus create the world that I want in

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the relationships I want.

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Yeah. And when people are listening,

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we're just giving you a snippet

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here. So please do listen to the

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full interview.

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Let us know in the comments below

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what you think.

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Danielle's contact details and mine

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are there. Then we will be collating

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a list of questions and deciding how

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to do the third interview, whether

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to do it as a live or to read

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out questions from people.

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So we will be doing that.

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And don't worry, there's nothing

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in his teaching that says

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that you should stay in abusive

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situations or abusive relationships,

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which I think is really very

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important to point out.

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But he gave certainly us all

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some really clear guidance today

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about how to distinguish when that's

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the case.

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So as usual, sit back,

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enjoy the full episode.

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Please do let us know your

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comments below and stay

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curious. Stay free.

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Danielle and I are thrilled to

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welcome back a very special

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guest with us today.

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Yogi Amrit Desai, whose

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disciples affectionately refer

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to him as Gurudev,

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for today's topic of how

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to have perfect relationships.

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Now, this is such an important topic

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for absolutely everyone.

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It impacts all areas of our life,

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our happiness and our interactions

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with others.

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I personally am so happy to discuss

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this with you, Danielle and Gurudev,

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because I know we're all going to

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get so much understanding about

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how managing our relationships

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can transform all areas of our

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lives.

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So, Danielle, you've been working

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with Gurudev for quite

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some while now, so please do tell

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us a little bit more about our

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wonderful guest today.

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Yes, absolutely.

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I would love to.

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I'm excited for this conversation as

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well. You know, I've been working

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with Gurudev for the last seven

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years.

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He just himself celebrated his 90th

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birthday.

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Gurudev grew up in India and

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he met his teacher when he was a

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teenager, which lit something

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up inside of him that, I would tell

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you, is still burning very, very

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bright today because he has

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dedicated his life to

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distilling the ancient yogic

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teachings and the secrets that were

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revealed to him by his master,

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Swami Kripalu.

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Gurudev brought these teachings over

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here to the West, and he was part

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of the initial craze that took off

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back in the sixties and has grown

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into all the diverse yoga practises

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that we see here today.

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Gurudev established the largest

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holistic centre here in North

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America when it was at its

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greatest bit.

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It had 350 full

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time volunteer resident

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staff, and they have the capacity

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to accommodate over 300 students.

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This was the Kripalu Centre for Yoga

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and Health, and Gurudev left

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Kripalu in the mid-nineties and

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he started to refine his own

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teachings even more into

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what is now known as the integrated

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Amrit method.

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I am yoga.

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I am yoga, Nedra.

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I am yoga therapy and quantum

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breath meditation.

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In 2001, he actually founded

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the Amrit Yoga Institute here in

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Salt Springs, Florida, which is

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where I currently live and he

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presently resides and teaches from.

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He was one of the first to arrive

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here in the US and he is the

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last living guru of this initial

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wave of teachers.

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And something that Gurudev always

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says that I truly believe as well

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is that if it doesn't change your

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life, it is not yoga.

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Now, Gurudev has authored many

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books, but today we are going to

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be talking about the book, The Yoga

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of Relationships, which has won over

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has won five book awards.

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Yes, Catherine, I've gotten so many

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notes in mine to,

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it's one that I have not been able

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to stop reading since I got it.

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It is highlighted and

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we are looking forward to the

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discussion today around this topic.

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Just wonderful.

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Well, Gurudev, that's an incredible

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bio by anyone's

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standards.

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And everyone who's listening today

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is going to get so much out of this

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conversation.

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And as a special treat

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to everyone, Gurudev is

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going to treat us all to a

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meditation at the end

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of this interview as well, which

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will really finish it off

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beautifully to us.

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So as Danielle's introduced, today

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we're going to explore the spiritual

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answers to problems when it comes to

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relationships using one

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of your wonderful books The Yoga of

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Relationships.

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Now, this book, the links

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for how to purchase it will be below

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because this is something

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that everyone needs to be reading.

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It is absolutely gold and it takes

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a lot of skill

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to really put such complex

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matters across so that

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people of all levels of

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understanding and experience can

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understand it.

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So I've as you can see,

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I've got marks all the way through

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it and I keep dipping back into it

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because there's so much information

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in there.

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So what we're going to be doing is

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applying these principles.

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When the challenges get really

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hard for us in our day to day life,

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we're going to be asking you some

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really useful questions about how we

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can really implement your teachings

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into everyday lives and the

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challenges that we all face.

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So my first question for you,

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Gurudev, is first and foremost,

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how are you today?

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How are you doing?

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I'm doing so excellent

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because I live in the present

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moment.

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I learn how not to

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live in the past because

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most people live their past

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in the present.

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They are never happy with their

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past. They are never happy

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with the present.

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So how to live

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in the freedom of the

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memory-free

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living in the present.

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And that is what is so important

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to live in the present

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moment where you

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are in relationship with your

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own higher self.

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That's so true.

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And one of the things, look, this

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always happens.

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The cats come and join me and

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they're all over the desk.

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So I will move my water quickly.

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So in the foreword by your lovely

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editor, Lily Ivy, and if

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I'm looking to the side, it's

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because I'm reading extracts from

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the book that we picked out.

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Lily says in the foreword that all

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relationships are based on

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the relationship we have with our

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self and ultimately

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the self.

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So Gurudev, can you start by

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explaining for us, please, why

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this was such an important book for

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you to write and explain

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the above statement,

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particularly distinguishing between

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our self and the

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self?

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Right, right.

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So... The

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problem they face

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in relationship

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with people in the

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outer world

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is faced by the

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relationship we have with

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our own self.

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In other words, the

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way, what I see in

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the outer relationship,

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when I am interacting with

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other person that

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I am interacting from is

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from my memory, the

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relationships I had

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in my past.

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So most people

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do not know that when

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they are interacting with outer

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world, they are interacting

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from their unconscious

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toxic memory

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centre, toxic

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memory stress centre.

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So they are interacting

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through their own relationship

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with themselves.

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Memory without

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the word.

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So this is what most people do

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not know.

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So they think that they are

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interacting with the other?

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No. The other is

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triggering your

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lookalike memory of

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your past.

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And then you are seeing

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what is present through their past.

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So you are not in tune

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with what is present.

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So you are having conflict

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with the present.

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But that conflict is

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the memory in your

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own self of the past.

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So you are in conflict with your

Speaker: 00:12:33

self-image.

Speaker: 00:12:34

That is built into the form

Speaker: 00:12:36

of PTSD.

Speaker: 00:12:39

Or Post-Traumatic Stress

Speaker: 00:12:41

Disorder of the past.

Speaker: 00:12:44

So you are

Speaker: 00:12:46

interacting with the outer world

Speaker: 00:12:48

through that as a reactive

Speaker: 00:12:50

perceiver.

Speaker: 00:12:52

You are not seeing what you are

Speaker: 00:12:54

seeing.

Speaker: 00:12:55

You are not hearing what the other

Speaker: 00:12:57

person is saying.

Speaker: 00:12:59

This is why there is

Speaker: 00:13:01

always a miscommunication

Speaker: 00:13:03

when you are reactively

Speaker: 00:13:05

interacting with the

Speaker: 00:13:08

other because you

Speaker: 00:13:10

are seeing the person

Speaker: 00:13:12

from the past who is present

Speaker: 00:13:15

and then you cannot see

Speaker: 00:13:18

what you are seeing now.

Speaker: 00:13:20

So you are speaking from your past.

Speaker: 00:13:23

Yeah.

Speaker: 00:13:24

So this is what Christ

Speaker: 00:13:26

meant when he was addressing

Speaker: 00:13:29

a large crowd who said

if you have eyes: 00:13:31

see.

If you have ears: 00:13:33

hear.

If you have ears: 00:13:35

He was not talking

If you have ears: 00:13:38

to the deaf people

If you have ears: 00:13:40

and the blind people.

If you have ears: 00:13:42

He was talking to humanity.

If you have ears: 00:13:44

That cannot...

If you have ears: 00:13:45

That sees everything through

If you have ears: 00:13:47

the past.

If you have ears: 00:13:48

So they cannot see what is present.

If you have ears: 00:13:51

Each and every thing...

If you have ears: 00:13:52

they are hearing everything from

If you have ears: 00:13:54

their pre-programmed PTSD.

If you have ears: 00:13:57

Therefore, they cannot hear

If you have ears: 00:13:59

what is said as it is said.

If you have ears: 00:14:02

And that is the fundamental

If you have ears: 00:14:05

of my teachings,

If you have ears: 00:14:07

that what

If you have ears: 00:14:09

you see out there is the

If you have ears: 00:14:11

fact that causes

If you have ears: 00:14:13

in the eyes of a reactive

If you have ears: 00:14:16

perceiver that perceives

If you have ears: 00:14:18

from the past.

If you have ears: 00:14:20

And this is what is present.

If you have ears: 00:14:23

Yeah.

If you have ears: 00:14:25

Yeah.

If you have ears: 00:14:26

Gosh, we could have the

If you have ears: 00:14:27

whole discussion around this.

If you have ears: 00:14:29

I know it's a lot to take in

If you have ears: 00:14:31

and you realise like relationships

If you have ears: 00:14:33

are such an incredible playground

If you have ears: 00:14:35

and to realise these teachings

If you have ears: 00:14:37

and to actually then apply that.

If you have ears: 00:14:39

And I want to bring up you have a

If you have ears: 00:14:41

couple of one liners in the book,

If you have ears: 00:14:42

Gurudev, that I'd love for you to

If you have ears: 00:14:43

elaborate on.

If you have ears: 00:14:45

And the first one is

If you have ears: 00:14:47

you say no one ever needs to go

If you have ears: 00:14:49

into therapy or see a psychiatrist.

If you have ears: 00:14:52

We just need to fall in love.

If you have ears: 00:14:54

And another place they

If you have ears: 00:14:56

love brings the closeness we crave,

If you have ears: 00:14:58

but it also reveals what we

If you have ears: 00:15:00

want to hide.

If you have ears: 00:15:01

So can you share with us what you

If you have ears: 00:15:03

mean? What is it that we are hiding

If you have ears: 00:15:05

and why does falling in love reveal

If you have ears: 00:15:07

it?

If you have ears: 00:15:08

So when we fall in love with

If you have ears: 00:15:10

somebody,

If you have ears: 00:15:13

when we are attracted to somebody,

If you have ears: 00:15:18

we are attracted to what we

If you have ears: 00:15:19

expect to come from

If you have ears: 00:15:21

them.

If you have ears: 00:15:23

So what you expect

If you have ears: 00:15:25

to come from them is

If you have ears: 00:15:28

separated from you.

If you have ears: 00:15:31

Mentally your mind lives

If you have ears: 00:15:33

in separation from who

If you have ears: 00:15:35

you are and expects

If you have ears: 00:15:38

the other to provide

If you have ears: 00:15:40

so the ego mind is born

If you have ears: 00:15:43

as a half polarity.

If you have ears: 00:15:45

Male polarity.

If you have ears: 00:15:46

It said it is born separated

If you have ears: 00:15:49

from female body

If you have ears: 00:15:51

for it looks for

If you have ears: 00:15:53

other female body

If you have ears: 00:15:56

relationship to feel

If you have ears: 00:15:58

complete.

If you have ears: 00:15:59

So that's why it calls love.

If you have ears: 00:16:01

Love is supposed to bring

If you have ears: 00:16:03

two people into

If you have ears: 00:16:05

harmonious interaction.

If you have ears: 00:16:08

Instead, because

If you have ears: 00:16:10

I'm looking for the love

If you have ears: 00:16:12

that I don't have.

If you have ears: 00:16:15

I cannot create it

If you have ears: 00:16:17

from outside

If you have ears: 00:16:20

so that once I accept myself

If you have ears: 00:16:22

as I am, I

If you have ears: 00:16:24

have the power to accept others

If you have ears: 00:16:26

as they are.

If you have ears: 00:16:28

So if just like

If you have ears: 00:16:30

I expect

If you have ears: 00:16:32

from myself and I cannot

If you have ears: 00:16:34

get what I expect from myself,

If you have ears: 00:16:37

I cannot get anything I

If you have ears: 00:16:40

expect from the other either.

If you have ears: 00:16:43

So expectation

If you have ears: 00:16:45

is the fundamental

If you have ears: 00:16:47

separation between you and

If you have ears: 00:16:49

your self that keeps reappearing

If you have ears: 00:16:51

between you and the other

If you have ears: 00:16:53

in every interpersonal relationship.

If you have ears: 00:16:58

So what I'm saying is

If you have ears: 00:16:59

your self-image, you are separated

If you have ears: 00:17:02

from, you don't have a good

If you have ears: 00:17:04

relationship with it.

If you have ears: 00:17:06

And that if you tried

If you have ears: 00:17:08

to find it outside

If you have ears: 00:17:10

it, you won't find it because

If you have ears: 00:17:12

the cause is hidden inside.

If you have ears: 00:17:16

And so if you remove the

If you have ears: 00:17:18

cause, that's why the yoga

If you have ears: 00:17:20

of relationship.

If you have ears: 00:17:22

Yoga of relationship means

If you have ears: 00:17:24

changing your relationship

If you have ears: 00:17:26

with yourself.

If you have ears: 00:17:29

So right now you are not

If you have ears: 00:17:30

in a relationship with yourself.

If you have ears: 00:17:32

You are in a relationship with

If you have ears: 00:17:34

your mind-made sense of

If you have ears: 00:17:36

self-image.

If you have ears: 00:17:39

And so everything that

If you have ears: 00:17:41

you expect from yourself doesn't

If you have ears: 00:17:43

come you expect it

If you have ears: 00:17:45

and it doesn't come.

If you have ears: 00:17:47

Well, an ego says, let's try

If you have ears: 00:17:49

to get it from somebody else.

If you have ears: 00:17:52

So they do not want to do the inner

If you have ears: 00:17:55

work, to drop,

If you have ears: 00:17:57

to accept themselves.

If you have ears: 00:18:00

And when you accept yourself.

If you have ears: 00:18:03

That is, you can accept others.

If you have ears: 00:18:06

So most people's problem

If you have ears: 00:18:09

is self rejection.

If you have ears: 00:18:12

So.

If you have ears: 00:18:13

And then when they are separated

If you have ears: 00:18:15

inside, they are seeking unification

If you have ears: 00:18:19

of loving relationship outside.

If you have ears: 00:18:22

Which is not possible.

If you have ears: 00:18:25

Outside is the fact.

If you have ears: 00:18:27

Inside is the cause.

If you have ears: 00:18:29

So it should remove the fact.

If you have ears: 00:18:31

It will be temporary solution.

If you have ears: 00:18:35

But when you change the cause,

If you have ears: 00:18:37

it's a permanent solution

If you have ears: 00:18:39

because cause of separation

If you have ears: 00:18:42

and expectation is in

If you have ears: 00:18:44

the eye of a reactive

If you have ears: 00:18:46

perceiver.

If you have ears: 00:18:48

And so no matter where

If you have ears: 00:18:49

you go, what you do

If you have ears: 00:18:51

or who you are with, you will create

If you have ears: 00:18:53

that separation.

If you have ears: 00:18:55

But if you are integrated

If you have ears: 00:18:58

inside, you will create

If you have ears: 00:19:00

harmony no matter where you go,

If you have ears: 00:19:02

what you do, or who you are with.

If you have ears: 00:19:05

That's why

If you have ears: 00:19:07

yoga, is a

If you have ears: 00:19:09

self-discovery process.

If you have ears: 00:19:11

You're

If you have ears: 00:19:14

connecting to yourself.

If you have ears: 00:19:16

So when you are in harmony within

If you have ears: 00:19:18

yourself, you

If you have ears: 00:19:20

can find harmony

If you have ears: 00:19:22

in the outer relationship.

If you have ears: 00:19:25

Yeah.

If you have ears: 00:19:27

Yeah, that's so

If you have ears: 00:19:28

beautifully put.

If you have ears: 00:19:29

And like last week,

If you have ears: 00:19:31

anyone who hasn't gone back and

If you have ears: 00:19:33

listened to our discussion on the

If you have ears: 00:19:35

ego, you will find the link for

If you have ears: 00:19:37

that below the video because this

If you have ears: 00:19:38

links in beautifully.

If you have ears: 00:19:40

So building on that note,

If you have ears: 00:19:42

Gurudev, another

quote from your book: 00:19:44

"Any

quote from your book: 00:19:46

sincere attempt to create healthy

quote from your book: 00:19:48

and intimate relationships

quote from your book: 00:19:50

is guaranteed to bring out

quote from your book: 00:19:52

everything we've been running from

quote from your book: 00:19:54

for an entire lifetime, probably

quote from your book: 00:19:56

many lifetimes.

quote from your book: 00:19:58

In relationships with others, we

quote from your book: 00:19:59

must face all that we've been

quote from your book: 00:20:01

avoiding in ourselves."

quote from your book: 00:20:03

So my question is a practical one.

quote from your book: 00:20:05

These things that come out,

quote from your book: 00:20:07

the other uncomfortable, which is

quote from your book: 00:20:09

why we might have been hiding

quote from your book: 00:20:11

them either consciously or

quote from your book: 00:20:12

subconsciously, like guilt

quote from your book: 00:20:14

and shame that lots of

quote from your book: 00:20:16

people feel.

quote from your book: 00:20:18

So how do we begin to actually deal

quote from your book: 00:20:20

with these?

quote from your book: 00:20:21

That's a very important question.

quote from your book: 00:20:23

That is how

quote from your book: 00:20:27

to create the relationship

quote from your book: 00:20:30

with yourself.

quote from your book: 00:20:31

That is why yoga says

quote from your book: 00:20:36

your relationship

quote from your book: 00:20:38

right now is your identification

quote from your book: 00:20:41

with your thoughts

quote from your book: 00:20:43

as who I am.

quote from your book: 00:20:45

So when you identify

quote from your book: 00:20:47

with your thoughts, you

quote from your book: 00:20:49

are saying what I think about

quote from your book: 00:20:51

myself is who I am,

quote from your book: 00:20:54

and what I think about you is

quote from your book: 00:20:56

who you are.

quote from your book: 00:20:57

Well, that's a fundamental

quote from your book: 00:20:59

relationship problem.

quote from your book: 00:21:01

But I think about you, and

quote from your book: 00:21:03

I believe that's who your are.

quote from your book: 00:21:05

That's why I am in conflict

quote from your book: 00:21:07

with you, like I am with

quote from your book: 00:21:09

my own thinking.

quote from your book: 00:21:12

This is so subtle

quote from your book: 00:21:14

that most people, they

quote from your book: 00:21:16

just make the other person

quote from your book: 00:21:19

responsible

quote from your book: 00:21:21

for causing them unhappiness.

quote from your book: 00:21:24

Actually, it is our

quote from your book: 00:21:26

own perception that

quote from your book: 00:21:28

is in conflict with ourselves

quote from your book: 00:21:30

that we superimpose

quote from your book: 00:21:32

over another and say, you

quote from your book: 00:21:35

are saying that.

quote from your book: 00:21:37

The reactive perceiver

quote from your book: 00:21:39

is a subject

quote from your book: 00:21:42

and the reactively perceived

quote from your book: 00:21:44

person is the object.

quote from your book: 00:21:47

So reactive perceiver appears

quote from your book: 00:21:49

as a reactive perceived object.

quote from your book: 00:21:55

The subject appears

quote from your book: 00:21:57

in the reactively perceived object.

quote from your book: 00:22:00

This is so fundamental

quote from your book: 00:22:02

to all human suffering

quote from your book: 00:22:04

and all human miscommunications

quote from your book: 00:22:07

and conflicts and all

quote from your book: 00:22:09

the rules we play

quote from your book: 00:22:11

as husband, wife,

quote from your book: 00:22:13

children, employer,

quote from your book: 00:22:15

employee everywhere.

quote from your book: 00:22:17

Teacher, student.

quote from your book: 00:22:19

So we think this is

quote from your book: 00:22:21

normal.

quote from your book: 00:22:23

What is what we think?

quote from your book: 00:22:24

This is normal?

quote from your book: 00:22:26

That what I think about

quote from your book: 00:22:28

you is normal.

quote from your book: 00:22:31

That's the biggest misperception.

quote from your book: 00:22:35

You are not at all

quote from your book: 00:22:37

what I think about you.

quote from your book: 00:22:40

What I think about myself

quote from your book: 00:22:42

is real.

quote from your book: 00:22:43

No, that is completely

quote from your book: 00:22:45

false because what I think

quote from your book: 00:22:47

about myself comes from my

quote from your book: 00:22:50

pre programme, PTSD.

quote from your book: 00:22:53

Or Toxic Memory

quote from your book: 00:22:55

stress disorder of

quote from your book: 00:22:57

my past.

quote from your book: 00:22:58

So I am living in my

quote from your book: 00:23:00

past and my past

quote from your book: 00:23:02

is having conflict with the

quote from your book: 00:23:04

presently who I am.

quote from your book: 00:23:07

That is the major

quote from your book: 00:23:09

relationship issue

quote from your book: 00:23:11

that we have with ourselves.

quote from your book: 00:23:14

And then because it

quote from your book: 00:23:16

is within the reactive perceiver,

quote from your book: 00:23:19

it comes out no matter where

quote from your book: 00:23:21

you go, what you do, or

quote from your book: 00:23:23

who you are with.

quote from your book: 00:23:24

So everything that you have

quote from your book: 00:23:27

reactively perceived in

quote from your book: 00:23:29

your love life, family life,

quote from your book: 00:23:31

work life or social life

quote from your book: 00:23:33

is created

quote from your book: 00:23:36

by the way you perceive

quote from your book: 00:23:38

it, not the way

quote from your book: 00:23:40

it was happening.

quote from your book: 00:23:43

So that's why everyday all

quote from your book: 00:23:45

information you have, all

quote from your book: 00:23:47

the anger, fear, jealousy,

quote from your book: 00:23:50

all those thoughts are false

quote from your book: 00:23:52

thoughts that you suffer

quote from your book: 00:23:54

from, that the ego suffers

quote from your book: 00:23:56

from.

quote from your book: 00:23:57

Mm hmm. So this is

quote from your book: 00:23:59

very simple, very

quote from your book: 00:24:01

profound truth.

quote from your book: 00:24:02

This is why yoga

quote from your book: 00:24:04

says first,

quote from your book: 00:24:07

clear your mind.

quote from your book: 00:24:09

The drive from identification

quote from your book: 00:24:12

with your mind that you

quote from your book: 00:24:13

are not so

quote from your book: 00:24:15

mind made sense of self image

quote from your book: 00:24:18

has lived in the memories of the

quote from your book: 00:24:20

time and have

quote from your book: 00:24:22

literally lived with the timeless

quote from your book: 00:24:25

presence.

quote from your book: 00:24:26

So that means you have lived in

quote from your book: 00:24:28

conflict with yourself.

quote from your book: 00:24:31

The ego mind has lived in

quote from your book: 00:24:33

conflict with the timeless, soul

quote from your book: 00:24:34

presence

quote from your book: 00:24:36

that I am now.

quote from your book: 00:24:40

So Gurudev, to just go on that

quote from your book: 00:24:42

a little bit more.

quote from your book: 00:24:42

So in a relationship, I

quote from your book: 00:24:45

say get triggered and I get angry.

quote from your book: 00:24:47

Right. And so apparently there's a

quote from your book: 00:24:48

lot of anger that's inside of me

quote from your book: 00:24:50

that I've been avoiding dealing

quote from your book: 00:24:51

with. So now I'm getting angry

quote from your book: 00:24:53

in the moment and blaming my partner

quote from your book: 00:24:55

because they did something that made

quote from your book: 00:24:56

me angry.

quote from your book: 00:24:57

I'm realising what you're saying

quote from your book: 00:24:58

now. It's no, no, no. That's you

quote from your book: 00:25:00

know, that's toxic memory stuff,

quote from your book: 00:25:01

this anger that's within me.

quote from your book: 00:25:03

But what do you actually do?

quote from your book: 00:25:04

Because I don't want that anger

quote from your book: 00:25:06

inside of me. I don't like that it

quote from your book: 00:25:07

comes out. So, I mean, how do you

quote from your book: 00:25:09

actually process through

quote from your book: 00:25:11

your own stuff as it's as it's

quote from your book: 00:25:13

coming.

quote from your book: 00:25:14

Like you said that

quote from your book: 00:25:16

your partner

quote from your book: 00:25:19

made you angry.

quote from your book: 00:25:21

What really happened?

quote from your book: 00:25:23

He triggered your

quote from your book: 00:25:25

memory that made

quote from your book: 00:25:27

you angry?

quote from your book: 00:25:29

So memory is the cause.

quote from your book: 00:25:31

So if you remove the cause,

quote from your book: 00:25:34

the problem is gone.

quote from your book: 00:25:37

That's how simple.

quote from your book: 00:25:38

So.

quote from your book: 00:25:39

So the person who triggered

quote from your book: 00:25:42

is the fact.

quote from your book: 00:25:43

The memory that got triggered

quote from your book: 00:25:46

in you is the cause.

quote from your book: 00:25:48

Once you know the truth,

quote from your book: 00:25:50

you remove the memory.

quote from your book: 00:25:52

You're not, you're not believing

quote from your book: 00:25:54

in everything you said about

quote from your book: 00:25:56

him then you are free.

quote from your book: 00:25:59

So this

quote from your book: 00:26:01

empowers you to solve

quote from your book: 00:26:03

the problem.

quote from your book: 00:26:05

Because if you take

quote from your book: 00:26:07

the responsibility for

quote from your book: 00:26:09

creating that reactive misperception

quote from your book: 00:26:12

in the past and

quote from your book: 00:26:14

when you allow yourself

quote from your book: 00:26:16

to accept it,

quote from your book: 00:26:18

you have accepted to react

quote from your book: 00:26:20

to the person also.

quote from your book: 00:26:23

Yeah.

quote from your book: 00:26:24

It feels easier said than done to

quote from your book: 00:26:25

let go of a memory like

quote from your book: 00:26:28

that, but they're really stuck

quote from your book: 00:26:30

in there. And I.

quote from your book: 00:26:31

I wonder how you just

quote from your book: 00:26:33

release them and just that easy that

quote from your book: 00:26:34

you just do. Are there tools or

quote from your book: 00:26:36

practises now?

quote from your book: 00:26:39

We are stuck in the memory

quote from your book: 00:26:41

because memory care is

quote from your book: 00:26:43

the addiction to the pleasurable

quote from your book: 00:26:45

events.

quote from your book: 00:26:47

And

quote from your book: 00:26:50

that has that change into

quote from your book: 00:26:52

painful, traumatic events

quote from your book: 00:26:55

for the memory is like,

quote from your book: 00:26:57

oh my God, I

quote from your book: 00:26:59

got it. I lost it.

quote from your book: 00:27:01

Now I want to get the positive

quote from your book: 00:27:03

one.

quote from your book: 00:27:04

So that's why.

quote from your book: 00:27:05

And I cannot get the positive

quote from your book: 00:27:07

outside because

quote from your book: 00:27:10

negative memory lives inside.

quote from your book: 00:27:13

So memory is

quote from your book: 00:27:15

of the abstractions and responses

quote from your book: 00:27:18

to the reality.

quote from your book: 00:27:20

So reality is not the problem.

quote from your book: 00:27:22

You're writing it through what you

quote from your book: 00:27:24

like and what you are afraid of.

quote from your book: 00:27:27

Create the separation.

quote from your book: 00:27:29

So if you know this truth,

quote from your book: 00:27:31

then you learn how not

quote from your book: 00:27:33

to reactively think

quote from your book: 00:27:35

about the other and

quote from your book: 00:27:36

not be the judge.

quote from your book: 00:27:38

So I say fire the judge

quote from your book: 00:27:41

and hire the witness.

quote from your book: 00:27:43

That means

quote from your book: 00:27:45

witness what you are saying,

quote from your book: 00:27:48

don't believe it.

quote from your book: 00:27:50

And you have removed the cause.

quote from your book: 00:27:52

That is the yoga.

quote from your book: 00:27:54

Yoga means reducing

quote from your book: 00:27:56

the modifications of your

quote from your book: 00:27:57

mind.

quote from your book: 00:27:59

Means witness your

quote from your book: 00:28:01

thoughts of what you like and

quote from your book: 00:28:03

don't like then you withdraw

quote from your book: 00:28:05

from them.

quote from your book: 00:28:06

You are freed from the

quote from your book: 00:28:08

pre-programmed reactor

quote from your book: 00:28:10

seer of the past.

quote from your book: 00:28:12

Now you

quote from your book: 00:28:14

don't have conflict with the

quote from your book: 00:28:16

reactively seen problem

quote from your book: 00:28:18

because reaction is remove.

quote from your book: 00:28:20

Current relationships

quote from your book: 00:28:23

certainly create a lot of

quote from your book: 00:28:24

opportunity to practise this.

quote from your book: 00:28:28

Before we move on to another quote,

quote from your book: 00:28:29

because this is such an important

quote from your book: 00:28:31

point you two are discussing here,

quote from your book: 00:28:33

but that I've

quote from your book: 00:28:35

had a lot of interaction from

quote from your book: 00:28:37

listeners and things.

quote from your book: 00:28:38

And there's a couple of practical

quote from your book: 00:28:39

examples, one in particular

quote from your book: 00:28:41

related to what you were just

quote from your book: 00:28:42

talking about.

quote from your book: 00:28:43

So the last three years

quote from your book: 00:28:46

have brought up a lot of emotions

quote from your book: 00:28:48

and separation within

quote from your book: 00:28:50

families and

quote from your book: 00:28:52

within other relationship groups,

quote from your book: 00:28:54

social groups as well.

quote from your book: 00:28:55

But let's talk about the crux of it,

quote from your book: 00:28:57

whether within a family.

quote from your book: 00:28:59

So Gurudev, going back to

quote from your book: 00:29:01

what you were just discussing with

quote from your book: 00:29:02

Danielle, say you've got a

quote from your book: 00:29:04

situation where you've got two

quote from your book: 00:29:06

parents, but they're split up now,

quote from your book: 00:29:08

but they've got custody of a child

quote from your book: 00:29:10

between them.

quote from your book: 00:29:12

And if there's a major

quote from your book: 00:29:14

disagreement between those people

quote from your book: 00:29:16

about a quite an important

quote from your book: 00:29:18

decision relating to that child.

quote from your book: 00:29:20

So it might be medical

quote from your book: 00:29:22

intervention or something like that.

quote from your book: 00:29:24

We all know what we're talking about

quote from your book: 00:29:26

there.

quote from your book: 00:29:26

Now, both sides, both parents

quote from your book: 00:29:30

have got very different opinions

quote from your book: 00:29:33

that are not meeting at all in

quote from your book: 00:29:35

the middle.

quote from your book: 00:29:36

And of course, the one who's been

quote from your book: 00:29:38

most affected by this, a

quote from your book: 00:29:39

disagreement, is the child

quote from your book: 00:29:41

that, one, might not be old enough

quote from your book: 00:29:43

to make their own mind up

quote from your book: 00:29:45

or be allowed to make their own mind

quote from your book: 00:29:47

up. Or if they do, they

quote from your book: 00:29:49

are automatically going to be

quote from your book: 00:29:50

disappointing one parent.

quote from your book: 00:29:52

This is something that's really

quote from your book: 00:29:53

affecting people. How how would your

quote from your book: 00:29:55

teachings deal with that situation

quote from your book: 00:29:57

of letting go?

quote from your book: 00:29:59

So the child happens to be

quote from your book: 00:30:01

the issue.

quote from your book: 00:30:03

But anything

quote from your book: 00:30:05

could be the issue.

quote from your book: 00:30:06

Yes.

quote from your book: 00:30:07

But when there are two people

quote from your book: 00:30:09

in conflict that one

quote from your book: 00:30:11

person's likes and dislikes,

quote from your book: 00:30:14

attraction and repulsion

quote from your book: 00:30:16

comes from its past.

quote from your book: 00:30:18

So not two people,

quote from your book: 00:30:21

but four people

quote from your book: 00:30:23

are in conflict with each

quote from your book: 00:30:25

other.

quote from your book: 00:30:27

Yes.

quote from your book: 00:30:28

This is to understand.

quote from your book: 00:30:32

You are not who is trying to get the

quote from your book: 00:30:34

child?

quote from your book: 00:30:35

Your fear

quote from your book: 00:30:37

that was brought on by the past

quote from your book: 00:30:40

will see and justify.

quote from your book: 00:30:43

He cannot handle it.

quote from your book: 00:30:44

Sometimes younger can handle

quote from your book: 00:30:46

better than older. Who knew that could be.

quote from your book: 00:30:51

But they will justify it.

quote from your book: 00:30:53

So this justifying,

quote from your book: 00:30:57

rationalising

quote from your book: 00:30:59

approach is coming from

quote from your book: 00:31:01

the pre-program memories

quote from your book: 00:31:03

of the past.

quote from your book: 00:31:05

So if you let go of that,

quote from your book: 00:31:07

then you can see

quote from your book: 00:31:10

objectively who can

quote from your book: 00:31:12

handle the child better

quote from your book: 00:31:14

rather than subjectively.

quote from your book: 00:31:17

So objective seeing

quote from your book: 00:31:19

issue for both

quote from your book: 00:31:21

of them would solve the

quote from your book: 00:31:23

solution.

quote from your book: 00:31:24

But the person who is subjective,

quote from your book: 00:31:26

one percent subjective

quote from your book: 00:31:28

and another is objective.

quote from your book: 00:31:30

Objective person will let go

quote from your book: 00:31:32

and let it be in the

quote from your book: 00:31:35

end will see the proper

quote from your book: 00:31:37

solution rather than

quote from your book: 00:31:40

solution my way.

quote from your book: 00:31:44

Because it is objective.

quote from your book: 00:31:47

Otherwise, more time

quote from your book: 00:31:49

in conflict with my way.

quote from your book: 00:31:53

The objective person

quote from your book: 00:31:55

says no right way.

quote from your book: 00:32:01

So the conflict just

quote from your book: 00:32:03

disappears if both can be objective.

quote from your book: 00:32:05

So why would why do we have

quote from your book: 00:32:07

a lawyer in this kind of case?

quote from your book: 00:32:09

Because the lawyer is more

quote from your book: 00:32:11

objective than either

quote from your book: 00:32:13

one of them.

quote from your book: 00:32:16

Or he can see

quote from your book: 00:32:17

if they can make them see

quote from your book: 00:32:19

objectively and solve the

quote from your book: 00:32:21

problem.

quote from your book: 00:32:24

Yeah.

quote from your book: 00:32:25

Yeah.

quote from your book: 00:32:26

It's so tricky, isn't it, as

quote from your book: 00:32:28

Danielle was saying in the real life

quote from your book: 00:32:29

example, because in real life, one

quote from your book: 00:32:31

of the partners might be

quote from your book: 00:32:33

doing this inner work

quote from your book: 00:32:35

and the other partner might not.

quote from your book: 00:32:37

So therefore the whole communication

quote from your book: 00:32:39

channel can break down.

quote from your book: 00:32:42

So that is why

quote from your book: 00:32:44

the person who

quote from your book: 00:32:46

is in conflict cannot

quote from your book: 00:32:48

make the other person objective.

quote from your book: 00:32:51

Yes.

quote from your book: 00:32:51

So that's why we need

quote from your book: 00:32:53

a counsellor.

quote from your book: 00:32:54

That's why people go to the

quote from your book: 00:32:56

counsellor to see

quote from your book: 00:32:59

if the other person can

quote from your book: 00:33:00

look at it objectively as

quote from your book: 00:33:02

well.

quote from your book: 00:33:04

So all

quote from your book: 00:33:05

the reactive perceiver

quote from your book: 00:33:08

is in a subjectively

quote from your book: 00:33:10

in conflict with its own self,

quote from your book: 00:33:13

and that is object

quote from your book: 00:33:15

and subjectively

quote from your book: 00:33:18

in conflict with who or

quote from your book: 00:33:20

what is present outside at the

quote from your book: 00:33:21

same time.

quote from your book: 00:33:23

So just the way you

quote from your book: 00:33:25

are in conflict within,

quote from your book: 00:33:28

you end up being in conflict with

quote from your book: 00:33:30

who or what is present in

quote from your book: 00:33:32

the outer world.

quote from your book: 00:33:37

Humanity is not used

quote from your book: 00:33:39

to thinking that way.

quote from your book: 00:33:41

And this is why I

quote from your book: 00:33:43

call the yoga of

quote from your book: 00:33:45

relationship.

quote from your book: 00:33:46

Yoga means how

quote from your book: 00:33:49

you bring integration

quote from your book: 00:33:51

means yoga internally

quote from your book: 00:33:54

rather than seek it

quote from your book: 00:33:56

to be from the other.

quote from your book: 00:33:58

Yeah.

quote from your book: 00:34:00

It certainly gets difficult, but I

quote from your book: 00:34:01

guess that's why we're here.

quote from your book: 00:34:06

Nobody wants to do the inner

quote from your book: 00:34:08

work themselves.

quote from your book: 00:34:09

They said, I want to find

quote from your book: 00:34:11

somebody who will do the

quote from your book: 00:34:13

inner work for me.

quote from your book: 00:34:16

So they will love me.

quote from your book: 00:34:18

They will accept me.

quote from your book: 00:34:19

I cannot accept myself.

quote from your book: 00:34:21

I cannot love myself.

quote from your book: 00:34:23

But I'm upset and I'm

quote from your book: 00:34:25

angry. I want them to love

quote from your book: 00:34:27

me and accept me.

quote from your book: 00:34:29

How is it possible?

quote from your book: 00:34:31

And then they call it love.

quote from your book: 00:34:34

Honey, if you just accept

quote from your book: 00:34:36

me, no matter where I am,

quote from your book: 00:34:38

I want to marry you.

quote from your book: 00:34:41

And that's what they said in

quote from your book: 00:34:43

the earlier time.

quote from your book: 00:34:44

I accept you just the way you are

quote from your book: 00:34:47

for the rest of the life in

quote from your book: 00:34:49

happiness, unhappiness,

quote from your book: 00:34:51

success, failure.

quote from your book: 00:34:53

It's all bull***t.

quote from your book: 00:34:56

It's so true.

quote from your book: 00:35:02

Well, this is interesting.

quote from your book: 00:35:04

Another quote from your book that I

quote from your book: 00:35:05

feel like it's relevant to this.

quote from your book: 00:35:06

You state that in today's culture

quote from your book: 00:35:08

we are more focussed on finding

quote from your book: 00:35:10

the right partner rather than

quote from your book: 00:35:12

being the right partner.

quote from your book: 00:35:14

And this is why divorce is

quote from your book: 00:35:16

so commonplace.

quote from your book: 00:35:17

And so the question I had when I

quote from your book: 00:35:18

read that was, Well, how

quote from your book: 00:35:20

do you get yourself ready for a

quote from your book: 00:35:22

relationship and how do

quote from your book: 00:35:24

you work on yourself so that you can

quote from your book: 00:35:26

be the right partner?

quote from your book: 00:35:28

So then, you don't

quote from your book: 00:35:30

have to be perfect in

quote from your book: 00:35:31

self-acceptance all the

quote from your book: 00:35:33

time, but you have the

quote from your book: 00:35:35

intention for accepting

quote from your book: 00:35:38

yourself, then you find

quote from your book: 00:35:40

yourself in conflict with

quote from your book: 00:35:42

yourself or with the other .

quote from your book: 00:35:44

And that is the intention.

quote from your book: 00:35:46

So now you can be in relationship

quote from your book: 00:35:48

with integrative intention.

quote from your book: 00:35:51

So you are adjusting

quote from your book: 00:35:53

inside rather than

quote from your book: 00:35:55

constantly depending on the other.

quote from your book: 00:36:01

Use the relationship as

quote from your book: 00:36:03

a training ground for integrative

quote from your book: 00:36:06

loving relationship.

quote from your book: 00:36:11

You've just really triggered

quote from your book: 00:36:12

something good in me there.

quote from your book: 00:36:14

So when you were both talking

quote from your book: 00:36:16

about that, when you think about

quote from your book: 00:36:18

people who work with animals and

quote from your book: 00:36:20

animals are reading our energy,

quote from your book: 00:36:22

not the words that come out of

quote from your book: 00:36:24

our mouths, but really reading our

quote from your book: 00:36:26

energy. So we've all seen examples,

quote from your book: 00:36:28

for example, where there might be

quote from your book: 00:36:30

a very aggressive dog, but

quote from your book: 00:36:31

the dog isn't aggressive with every

quote from your book: 00:36:33

handler.

quote from your book: 00:36:35

They're picking up on the energy of

quote from your book: 00:36:36

the handler and adjusting

quote from your book: 00:36:39

their behaviour response to

quote from your book: 00:36:41

that. So I think this

quote from your book: 00:36:43

is where sometimes

quote from your book: 00:36:45

animals can be such brilliant

quote from your book: 00:36:47

mirrors for us because

quote from your book: 00:36:50

they don't have...

quote from your book: 00:36:51

When they're reacting, they're not

quote from your book: 00:36:52

reacting from their ego, they're

quote from your book: 00:36:54

honestly reacting for

quote from your book: 00:36:56

our energy. Does that make sense to

quote from your book: 00:36:57

you?

quote from your book: 00:36:59

Yeah. See, this is

quote from your book: 00:37:01

the most important part

quote from your book: 00:37:03

that human beings

quote from your book: 00:37:05

are born with animal

quote from your book: 00:37:08

subconscious, instinctive

quote from your book: 00:37:10

inner body,

quote from your book: 00:37:12

self-conscious ego mind.

quote from your book: 00:37:15

So we are living with

quote from your book: 00:37:17

the animal body, with human

quote from your book: 00:37:19

mind.

quote from your book: 00:37:20

And animal body

quote from your book: 00:37:22

does not react because it does

quote from your book: 00:37:24

not react from the memories

quote from your book: 00:37:26

of the past.

quote from your book: 00:37:28

It can react

quote from your book: 00:37:30

from the mechanically

quote from your book: 00:37:32

lived, bodily felt

quote from your book: 00:37:34

memories of the past, but not

quote from your book: 00:37:37

psychological memories

quote from your book: 00:37:38

of the past.

quote from your book: 00:37:40

So.

quote from your book: 00:37:41

So. Animal body

quote from your book: 00:37:43

and human mind.

quote from your book: 00:37:45

So. Human mind acts from

quote from your book: 00:37:47

the memories of the

quote from your book: 00:37:49

pre programmed PTSD

quote from your book: 00:37:52

and reacts to who

quote from your book: 00:37:54

or what is present and

quote from your book: 00:37:56

that reaction

quote from your book: 00:37:58

happens to the body that

quote from your book: 00:38:00

is present now

quote from your book: 00:38:03

also at the same time.

quote from your book: 00:38:04

So how you react to outside

quote from your book: 00:38:07

happens, how you react

quote from your book: 00:38:09

to your own body inside.

quote from your book: 00:38:12

This is not understood.

quote from your book: 00:38:14

This is why this is...

quote from your book: 00:38:16

This is the revolutionary

quote from your book: 00:38:18

thinking, revolutionary

quote from your book: 00:38:21

approach to breaking down

quote from your book: 00:38:23

all your barriers and

quote from your book: 00:38:25

boundaries built with your body

quote from your book: 00:38:27

and mind in the memory of

quote from your book: 00:38:29

the past so that

quote from your book: 00:38:31

you can live in harmony

quote from your book: 00:38:33

with the body that lives

quote from your book: 00:38:35

in the present.

quote from your book: 00:38:37

Because the body is the boat

quote from your book: 00:38:39

of God, as yoga says, and

quote from your book: 00:38:42

that's what Christ meant when he

quote from your book: 00:38:44

said, Your body is the Temple

quote from your book: 00:38:46

of God.

quote from your book: 00:38:47

That's exactly the way it is.

quote from your book: 00:38:51

And I was just thinking, Danielle,

quote from your book: 00:38:53

you know, you can see why

quote from your book: 00:38:55

if you really have that intention,

quote from your book: 00:38:58

then that will be reflected to how

quote from your book: 00:39:00

everyone perceives you and the

quote from your book: 00:39:01

energy you're giving out.

quote from your book: 00:39:02

So it is the intention

quote from your book: 00:39:05

so you can enter

quote from your book: 00:39:07

with integrative intention

quote from your book: 00:39:09

in your relationship

quote from your book: 00:39:10

with the other.

quote from your book: 00:39:12

So integrative intention means

quote from your book: 00:39:14

I would integrate

quote from your book: 00:39:17

my inner conflicts

quote from your book: 00:39:19

within myself

quote from your book: 00:39:21

internally as

quote from your book: 00:39:23

it appears to come from externally.

quote from your book: 00:39:26

And the other one will also

quote from your book: 00:39:28

try to do the same thing.

quote from your book: 00:39:30

That's a good

quote from your book: 00:39:32

relationship.

quote from your book: 00:39:33

That is where I could call

quote from your book: 00:39:35

it... Each

quote from your book: 00:39:37

one is trying to re-enter

quote from your book: 00:39:40

the soul.

quote from your book: 00:39:41

So it is for soul mate

quote from your book: 00:39:43

relationship.

quote from your book: 00:39:45

You are trying to meet at the level

quote from your book: 00:39:47

of the soul rather than the

quote from your book: 00:39:49

ego mind.

quote from your book: 00:39:56

Over to you, Danielle .

quote from your book: 00:39:57

Wonderful. Well, let's

quote from your book: 00:39:59

grab another quote here.

quote from your book: 00:40:00

So to go deeper on the topic as it

quote from your book: 00:40:02

relates to ourselves,

quote from your book: 00:40:04

but also the awareness of our

quote from your book: 00:40:05

partner.

quote from your book: 00:40:06

You say in the book, emotionally

quote from your book: 00:40:09

charged conflicts may appear to

quote from your book: 00:40:10

be directed at the other, the

quote from your book: 00:40:12

offender, but we are really

quote from your book: 00:40:14

turning it against ourselves.

quote from your book: 00:40:16

We are the only ones who are truly

quote from your book: 00:40:18

suffering. We may have a problem

quote from your book: 00:40:19

with another, but ultimately we

quote from your book: 00:40:21

are responsible for taking it

quote from your book: 00:40:23

to the level of crisis.

quote from your book: 00:40:25

My question here is,

quote from your book: 00:40:27

and we touched on it a little with

quote from your book: 00:40:29

with the partner not being aware,

quote from your book: 00:40:31

like they're not consciously aware

quote from your book: 00:40:33

of this dynamic.

quote from your book: 00:40:34

They're not alert to the fact that

quote from your book: 00:40:35

their ego is playing a part here.

quote from your book: 00:40:37

So maybe the partner is getting

quote from your book: 00:40:39

upset because they're feeling like,

quote from your book: 00:40:41

you know, you're controlling them,

quote from your book: 00:40:42

but really you're just asking

quote from your book: 00:40:44

for a certain thing to be done.

quote from your book: 00:40:46

But their inner issue of control

quote from your book: 00:40:48

is coming out in the moment.

quote from your book: 00:40:50

How do you help them gain this

quote from your book: 00:40:51

awareness? It doesn't seem like it

quote from your book: 00:40:53

would be possible to do it in the

quote from your book: 00:40:54

moment, but-

quote from your book: 00:40:58

That's a good question.

quote from your book: 00:41:01

Basically, you

quote from your book: 00:41:03

are trying to

quote from your book: 00:41:05

live in harmony with the

quote from your book: 00:41:07

other by being in

quote from your book: 00:41:09

harmony within yourself,

quote from your book: 00:41:11

but other is not.

quote from your book: 00:41:17

When you accept the other.

quote from your book: 00:41:20

As they are.

quote from your book: 00:41:22

You don't complain about it.

quote from your book: 00:41:23

You don't judge them

quote from your book: 00:41:26

or be certain, oh,

quote from your book: 00:41:29

who said this is different?

quote from your book: 00:41:31

So in the beginning,

quote from your book: 00:41:33

she will not accept

quote from your book: 00:41:35

you yet.

quote from your book: 00:41:36

Because now what are

quote from your book: 00:41:38

you up to?

quote from your book: 00:41:39

You are doing another game with me.

quote from your book: 00:41:42

So if you keep accepting

quote from your book: 00:41:44

unconditionally, allow

quote from your book: 00:41:46

them to be who they are.

quote from your book: 00:41:49

You are also allowing yourself

quote from your book: 00:41:51

to be who you are

quote from your book: 00:41:53

at the same time.

quote from your book: 00:41:55

Then eventually

quote from your book: 00:41:58

with few encounters,

quote from your book: 00:42:00

she will begin to see that

quote from your book: 00:42:02

you are not judging them,

quote from your book: 00:42:04

you are not pushing them, you are

quote from your book: 00:42:06

not trying to control them.

quote from your book: 00:42:08

And they will also begin

quote from your book: 00:42:10

to be in harmony

quote from your book: 00:42:12

with you.

quote from your book: 00:42:14

They will, because you are

quote from your book: 00:42:15

consciousness.

quote from your book: 00:42:17

Your fragrance of love

quote from your book: 00:42:19

and harmony will eventually

quote from your book: 00:42:21

to them and they will come back

quote from your book: 00:42:23

into it.

quote from your book: 00:42:29

I should be making sense of all

quote from your book: 00:42:31

these things. I'll go back and

quote from your book: 00:42:32

listen afterwards of all these

quote from your book: 00:42:33

things I've got to practise.

quote from your book: 00:42:34

There's a lot on my list,

quote from your book: 00:42:36

but I'm getting there.

quote from your book: 00:42:37

And honestly, this book is just such

quote from your book: 00:42:39

a wonderful help so anyone who's

quote from your book: 00:42:41

listening, please do get the book,

quote from your book: 00:42:42

you're going to love it.

quote from your book: 00:42:44

So Gurudev, I've got a question

quote from your book: 00:42:46

that's big on a lot of people's

quote from your book: 00:42:47

minds, which is...

quote from your book: 00:42:48

Let's broaden it out now to

quote from your book: 00:42:50

our relationships, more to a

quote from your book: 00:42:52

society level.

quote from your book: 00:42:54

So let me read a quote from your

quote from your book: 00:42:56

book.

quote from your book: 00:42:57

"Sometimes we must deal with mental

quote from your book: 00:42:59

errors, not only our own,

quote from your book: 00:43:01

but those of others.

quote from your book: 00:43:03

Rumour or exaggeration

quote from your book: 00:43:05

are commonplace.

quote from your book: 00:43:07

They are externalised mental

quote from your book: 00:43:09

processes individuals feed

quote from your book: 00:43:11

into one another,

quote from your book: 00:43:13

potentially identified

quote from your book: 00:43:14

error as false knowledge,

quote from your book: 00:43:17

a corrupting form of ignorance.

quote from your book: 00:43:20

When facts are exaggerated

quote from your book: 00:43:21

and rumours run rampant, reality

quote from your book: 00:43:24

is abandoned and valid judgements

quote from your book: 00:43:26

are lost.

quote from your book: 00:43:27

No one can control the thinking of

quote from your book: 00:43:29

others.

quote from your book: 00:43:30

Once we see that, we realise

quote from your book: 00:43:32

people's thoughts have little or

quote from your book: 00:43:34

nothing to do with us.

quote from your book: 00:43:36

So one of the things I wanted

quote from your book: 00:43:38

to, and then you finish off

quote from your book: 00:43:40

by saying recognise that no one can

quote from your book: 00:43:42

hurt us and then let unless

quote from your book: 00:43:44

we elect to take it personally.

quote from your book: 00:43:46

This is quite a statement.

quote from your book: 00:43:48

quote from your book: 00:43:52

let's say that

quote from your book: 00:43:54

when most people

quote from your book: 00:43:57

who have been abused

quote from your book: 00:43:59

in the past...

quote from your book: 00:44:01

They are...

quote from your book: 00:44:04

They are keeping, like a target sign

quote from your book: 00:44:06

on their self.

quote from your book: 00:44:07

If somebody even is not

quote from your book: 00:44:09

attacking them, they put their

quote from your book: 00:44:11

target in front and said,

quote from your book: 00:44:13

see, you attack me.

quote from your book: 00:44:16

So it is their memories

quote from your book: 00:44:18

of the past that feels attacked.

quote from your book: 00:44:21

So if you learn

quote from your book: 00:44:23

that you are- once you know the

quote from your book: 00:44:24

truth,

quote from your book: 00:44:27

you know that this person,

quote from your book: 00:44:29

what he says, I

quote from your book: 00:44:31

never heard.

quote from your book: 00:44:33

I am hearing what

quote from your book: 00:44:35

is there differently from my

quote from your book: 00:44:37

past?

quote from your book: 00:44:38

So when you let go of

quote from your book: 00:44:40

what you heard as

quote from your book: 00:44:42

being false, the

quote from your book: 00:44:43

real goal of

quote from your book: 00:44:45

your objective

quote from your book: 00:44:47

reality will become more real.

quote from your book: 00:44:50

You will see the other person,

quote from your book: 00:44:52

what they said, what

quote from your book: 00:44:54

they said objectively.

quote from your book: 00:44:56

You will hear it

quote from your book: 00:44:58

subjectively.

quote from your book: 00:45:00

Could the presence were

quote from your book: 00:45:02

there.

quote from your book: 00:45:03

So it is it, is really,

quote from your book: 00:45:05

again, seeing

quote from your book: 00:45:07

yourself as

quote from your book: 00:45:10

a witness

quote from your book: 00:45:12

to what you are thinking

quote from your book: 00:45:14

and what the other is thinking.

quote from your book: 00:45:16

You let the thoughts pass

quote from your book: 00:45:19

by.

quote from your book: 00:45:20

So that

quote from your book: 00:45:22

non-reactive perception

quote from your book: 00:45:25

of the objective reality

quote from your book: 00:45:27

begins to emerge out of

quote from your book: 00:45:29

it.

quote from your book: 00:45:30

So in a situation, I'm going

quote from your book: 00:45:32

to raise something very

quote from your book: 00:45:33

controversial here, but just to

quote from your book: 00:45:35

really put it in context for people.

quote from your book: 00:45:37

So something like where

quote from your book: 00:45:39

society leaders at large...

quote from your book: 00:45:42

Something like the Nazis.

quote from your book: 00:45:44

At what stage do you

quote from your book: 00:45:46

step out of that objective

quote from your book: 00:45:49

observation to take

quote from your book: 00:45:51

action as a responsible citizen,

quote from your book: 00:45:54

to stop some atrocity

quote from your book: 00:45:56

or some believed atrocity

quote from your book: 00:45:58

happening? Does that make sense?

quote from your book: 00:45:59

That's a good practical question

quote from your book: 00:46:02

because you

quote from your book: 00:46:04

try to be objective

quote from your book: 00:46:06

in your relationship with the

quote from your book: 00:46:08

other and you try

quote from your book: 00:46:10

it and you try it

quote from your book: 00:46:12

and you try it.

quote from your book: 00:46:14

But they are so far

quote from your book: 00:46:16

deep in identification

quote from your book: 00:46:18

with their own memory trauma,

quote from your book: 00:46:21

they cannot come out of it.

quote from your book: 00:46:24

That time, you take the

quote from your book: 00:46:26

action and separate yourself

quote from your book: 00:46:28

in some way so

quote from your book: 00:46:30

that you are not just

quote from your book: 00:46:32

living as a victim,

quote from your book: 00:46:34

but living freely

quote from your book: 00:46:38

to let the other person work it out

quote from your book: 00:46:40

themselves.

quote from your book: 00:46:43

But you have to try to

quote from your book: 00:46:46

use that to let go of

quote from your book: 00:46:47

your own past.

quote from your book: 00:46:50

And once you know, it

quote from your book: 00:46:52

is not responded by the other.

quote from your book: 00:46:55

Even after practising

quote from your book: 00:46:57

it consistently,

quote from your book: 00:46:59

you take new action.

quote from your book: 00:47:03

Yeah.

quote from your book: 00:47:04

But then you have done your

quote from your book: 00:47:06

inner work.

quote from your book: 00:47:08

And other than just take

quote from your book: 00:47:10

other as a responsible.

quote from your book: 00:47:12

And you are running from it.

quote from your book: 00:47:15

Yeah.

quote from your book: 00:47:16

And there's a totally different

quote from your book: 00:47:17

result when you're trying to create

quote from your book: 00:47:20

change or take action and you're in

quote from your book: 00:47:22

an emotional, reactive state

quote from your book: 00:47:24

versus having this awareness

quote from your book: 00:47:26

and saying, okay, I'm going to let

quote from your book: 00:47:28

go of my reaction to what's going

quote from your book: 00:47:29

on. But I still see that this is an

quote from your book: 00:47:31

okay and a work

quote from your book: 00:47:33

from a space where you're more

quote from your book: 00:47:34

grounded and at peace.

quote from your book: 00:47:36

I think it opens people up.

quote from your book: 00:47:38

When you come from that heart space

quote from your book: 00:47:39

and you're not being emotional,

quote from your book: 00:47:41

you're not trying to trigger

quote from your book: 00:47:42

anybody, you're just trying to, you

quote from your book: 00:47:43

know, bring sense to the situation.

quote from your book: 00:47:48

It is not easy to do that.

quote from your book: 00:47:50

No. Because you're

quote from your book: 00:47:52

so vulnerable that

quote from your book: 00:47:54

you will be abused again.

quote from your book: 00:47:56

Right. You would be taken advantage

quote from your book: 00:47:58

of. But who is talking?

quote from your book: 00:48:00

Your past.

quote from your book: 00:48:02

Have to keep dropping your

quote from your book: 00:48:04

past again and again.

quote from your book: 00:48:07

That means you are advancing

quote from your book: 00:48:09

into your inner dimension.

quote from your book: 00:48:11

Deliver the whole oneness

quote from your book: 00:48:14

within yourself.

quote from your book: 00:48:15

So you're doing inner work

quote from your book: 00:48:18

while trying to bring

quote from your book: 00:48:20

outer world in harmony.

quote from your book: 00:48:23

And it's not working.

quote from your book: 00:48:27

Yeah. Easier said than done.

quote from your book: 00:48:29

But when you keep coming back to

quote from your book: 00:48:30

these teachings, it's so...

quote from your book: 00:48:31

It's so powerful.

quote from your book: 00:48:32

And you have- you can practise it

quote from your book: 00:48:34

daily with what's unfolding.

quote from your book: 00:48:36

So the next quote

quote from your book: 00:48:38

that I want to talk about, it has to

quote from your book: 00:48:40

do with forgiveness in

quote from your book: 00:48:41

relationships. Gurudev,

quote from your book: 00:48:43

you wrote something you said, when

quote from your book: 00:48:44

you truly forgive with your heart,

quote from your book: 00:48:47

not your reasoning, you

quote from your book: 00:48:49

are accepting your role in the

quote from your book: 00:48:50

relationship and setting yourself

quote from your book: 00:48:52

free.

quote from your book: 00:48:53

And as I was pondering that, I just

quote from your book: 00:48:55

I started to wonder.

quote from your book: 00:48:56

So people say, you know, I forgive,

quote from your book: 00:48:58

but I won't forget.

quote from your book: 00:49:00

And I'm wondering, is that not

quote from your book: 00:49:02

really forgiveness then?

quote from your book: 00:49:03

And when you forgive someone from

quote from your book: 00:49:05

the heart, do you just hold no

quote from your book: 00:49:07

memory of what they did?

quote from your book: 00:49:08

Like, aren't you supposed to learn

quote from your book: 00:49:10

when people treat you a certain way?

quote from your book: 00:49:12

Like, I. I have a little bit of

quote from your book: 00:49:13

difficulty understanding the

quote from your book: 00:49:14

forgiveness.

quote from your book: 00:49:16

So forgiveness.

quote from your book: 00:49:19

This is why I say

quote from your book: 00:49:22

when somebody gets really sick

quote from your book: 00:49:25

because of their traumatic

quote from your book: 00:49:27

memory of somebody who

quote from your book: 00:49:29

abused them.

quote from your book: 00:49:30

So the psychologist will say,

quote from your book: 00:49:32

forgive them.

quote from your book: 00:49:35

I know this- they know

quote from your book: 00:49:37

that it is your own

quote from your book: 00:49:39

reaction that is making

quote from your book: 00:49:40

you sick to them.

quote from your book: 00:49:42

You hold them responsible.

quote from your book: 00:49:45

It says, no, forgive

quote from your book: 00:49:47

them. They are not responsible.

quote from your book: 00:49:51

So if you really forgive them,

quote from your book: 00:49:54

it's still not complete forgiveness.

quote from your book: 00:49:57

You say I forgive you,

quote from your book: 00:50:00

but I know

quote from your book: 00:50:02

you abused me.

quote from your book: 00:50:03

You took advantage of me.

quote from your book: 00:50:05

Still remain.

quote from your book: 00:50:07

But if you follow the truth

quote from your book: 00:50:09

of it, accept them

quote from your book: 00:50:11

just the way they are.

quote from your book: 00:50:12

Accept yourself, just

quote from your book: 00:50:14

the way you are now.

quote from your book: 00:50:16

You are very forgiving,

quote from your book: 00:50:18

both them and yourself.

quote from your book: 00:50:20

The forgiveness is complete.

quote from your book: 00:50:24

It's liberating.

quote from your book: 00:50:25

If you could do that it's

quote from your book: 00:50:26

liberating. But that seems very

quote from your book: 00:50:28

difficult to be able to forgive

quote from your book: 00:50:30

some things.

quote from your book: 00:50:31

Truth is not easy to live

quote from your book: 00:50:33

with.

quote from your book: 00:50:37

We wouldn't say it every day

quote from your book: 00:50:40

and lies are very easy

quote from your book: 00:50:42

because it allows the

quote from your book: 00:50:44

false self-image

quote from your book: 00:50:46

to survive by the lies.

quote from your book: 00:50:54

I'm conscious of the time, so I've

quote from your book: 00:50:56

got one more question for me, if I

quote from your book: 00:50:58

may, and talking

quote from your book: 00:51:00

for all the parents out here now.

quote from your book: 00:51:02

Now, in your book, you say

quote from your book: 00:51:04

very early in life, I

quote from your book: 00:51:06

saw that what weighed me down and

quote from your book: 00:51:08

disturbed my peace of mind the most

quote from your book: 00:51:10

was holding someone else responsible

quote from your book: 00:51:13

for my happiness.

quote from your book: 00:51:15

Now, as parents, we often

quote from your book: 00:51:16

feel responsible for our children's

quote from your book: 00:51:19

happiness.

quote from your book: 00:51:20

Can you give us some advice on this

quote from your book: 00:51:22

please?

quote from your book: 00:51:24

We want their happiness.

quote from your book: 00:51:26

Obviously, our parents want

quote from your book: 00:51:28

happiness for their children.

quote from your book: 00:51:31

But they haven't worked out their

quote from your book: 00:51:33

own happiness for themselves.

quote from your book: 00:51:36

They don't know how to

quote from your book: 00:51:38

do it, and they do not...

quote from your book: 00:51:42

expecting their happiness for their

quote from your book: 00:51:44

children.

quote from your book: 00:51:45

They don't know how to help them

quote from your book: 00:51:47

to be happy with themselves.

quote from your book: 00:51:49

This is what I'm doing.

quote from your book: 00:51:51

I have worked out my happiness

quote from your book: 00:51:53

with myself without depending

quote from your book: 00:51:56

on other to make me happy.

quote from your book: 00:51:59

Once I have that freedom

quote from your book: 00:52:01

to be who I am

quote from your book: 00:52:03

and I can make what I want

quote from your book: 00:52:05

my self, happiness for myself.

quote from your book: 00:52:08

I have all the power to

quote from your book: 00:52:10

help my children also.

quote from your book: 00:52:13

But until then, it's just

quote from your book: 00:52:15

the emotional

quote from your book: 00:52:18

desire for

quote from your book: 00:52:20

my children not

quote from your book: 00:52:22

to be unhappy

quote from your book: 00:52:24

by how I made myself

quote from your book: 00:52:27

unhappy going through the

quote from your book: 00:52:29

mistakes I have made.

quote from your book: 00:52:31

How is it possible?

quote from your book: 00:52:33

It is just some wishy washy

quote from your book: 00:52:35

desire that doesn't have

quote from your book: 00:52:38

any meaning in real life.

quote from your book: 00:52:42

I completely agree.

quote from your book: 00:52:44

Yeah. And, you know, children

quote from your book: 00:52:46

do what we do, not what we say, so

quote from your book: 00:52:49

do animals. So, you know, you can't

quote from your book: 00:52:50

fool them. You can't fool

quote from your book: 00:52:52

them. They are picking out what

quote from your book: 00:52:54

you're really feeling and the

quote from your book: 00:52:55

example you're really giving, aren't

quote from your book: 00:52:57

they?

quote from your book: 00:52:58

So.

quote from your book: 00:53:00

So let's have a meditation.

quote from your book: 00:53:02

Yeah.

quote from your book: 00:53:04

So are you happy to go into the

quote from your book: 00:53:06

meditation now?

quote from your book: 00:53:07

That would be wonderful.

quote from your book: 00:53:09

Yes.

quote from your book: 00:53:11

So let us do something

quote from your book: 00:53:13

if we can.

quote from your book: 00:53:15

If you are sitting on the chair

quote from your book: 00:53:18

or you're sitting on the floor,

quote from your book: 00:53:20

you can still

quote from your book: 00:53:23

do one simple thing.

quote from your book: 00:53:25

You breathe out as you bend forward

quote from your book: 00:53:28

and breathe in as

quote from your book: 00:53:30

you come up.

quote from your book: 00:53:31

Simple breathing.

quote from your book: 00:53:34

Okay, let's do that.

quote from your book: 00:53:36

To change from

quote from your book: 00:53:38

your thinking mind to feeling

quote from your book: 00:53:40

body.

quote from your book: 00:53:41

So this is all meditation

quote from your book: 00:53:44

is, moving from thinking mind

quote from your book: 00:53:46

to feeling body

quote from your book: 00:53:48

to the oneness

quote from your book: 00:53:50

of experience called yoga

quote from your book: 00:53:54

meditation.

quote from your book: 00:53:57

So sit up straight

quote from your book: 00:54:00

and move from your hip joint.

quote from your book: 00:54:01

Bend forward as you exhale.

quote from your book: 00:54:06

Hold the breath out.

quote from your book: 00:54:08

Hold it out there momentarily

quote from your book: 00:54:11

and then breathe in

quote from your book: 00:54:13

as you come up slow

quote from your book: 00:54:15

and steady.

quote from your book: 00:54:17

Repeat that again.

quote from your book: 00:54:26

Inhale as you come up.

quote from your book: 00:54:30

Hold the breath in for a moment.

quote from your book: 00:54:33

Keep your eyes closed while you do

quote from your book: 00:54:34

this.

quote from your book: 00:54:36

Breathe out as you exhale.

quote from your book: 00:54:39

And then forward.

quote from your book: 00:54:42

Hold the breath out momentarily.

quote from your book: 00:54:45

Enter into stillness.

quote from your book: 00:54:47

Relax.

quote from your book: 00:54:49

Come up as you breathe in.

quote from your book: 00:54:55

Hold the breath in, relax.

quote from your book: 00:54:57

Focus your attention on

quote from your book: 00:54:59

the third eye

quote from your book: 00:55:01

and then exhale as

quote from your book: 00:55:03

you bend forward.

quote from your book: 00:55:05

Repeat this two times.

quote from your book: 00:55:08

Stay in orderly focus.

quote from your book: 00:55:11

Connected to a breath

quote from your book: 00:55:13

and the coordinated moment.

quote from your book: 00:55:19

Do it on your own time.

quote from your book: 00:55:42

Coordinate your breaths with

quote from your book: 00:55:43

the movement.

quote from your book: 00:55:46

Let your movement and breath be

quote from your book: 00:55:48

steady, unbroken

quote from your book: 00:55:51

from

quote from your book: 00:55:53

your breath and your movement.

quote from your book: 00:55:55

Steady, one motion.

quote from your book: 00:55:57

Unbroken flow.

quote from your book: 00:56:00

In a very relaxed way.

quote from your book: 00:56:13

Okay. Let's do the last one.

quote from your book: 00:56:15

Breathe out as you bend forward.

quote from your book: 00:56:17

Hold

quote from your book: 00:56:22

the breath out.

quote from your book: 00:56:25

Stillness.

quote from your book: 00:56:28

Come up as you breathe in.

quote from your book: 00:56:33

And relax.

quote from your book: 00:56:38

Now,

quote from your book: 00:56:41

next breathing technique.

quote from your book: 00:56:43

Is inhale through the nose.

quote from your book: 00:56:45

And exhale through a straw.

quote from your book: 00:56:51

Open your lips slightly.

quote from your book: 00:56:53

And exhale as if you're exhaling

quote from your book: 00:56:56

through a straw.

quote from your book: 00:57:02

Inhale through the nose.

quote from your book: 00:57:05

Exhale through a straw.

quote from your book: 00:57:15

Through the nose.

quote from your book: 00:57:18

Make your exhale a long,

quote from your book: 00:57:21

steady, unbroken

quote from your book: 00:57:23

flow.

quote from your book: 00:57:25

In a very relaxed way.

quote from your book: 00:57:38

Breathe in through the nose.

quote from your book: 00:57:43

Exhale through the small opening

quote from your book: 00:57:45

between your lips.

quote from your book: 00:57:47

Make it long, steady,

quote from your book: 00:57:51

unbroken flow.

quote from your book: 00:57:55

And at the end of each breath

quote from your book: 00:57:57

out.

quote from your book: 00:57:59

Keep it down for a moment.

quote from your book: 00:58:01

Bring your attention to the third

quote from your book: 00:58:03

eye between your eyebrows

quote from your book: 00:58:06

and drop into complete stillness.

quote from your book: 00:58:12

And then exhale.

quote from your book: 00:58:15

So repeat this two times on

quote from your book: 00:58:17

your own.

quote from your book: 00:58:41

Notice with each exhalation

quote from your book: 00:58:45

your mind is completely still.

quote from your book: 00:58:48

Empty and peaceful.

quote from your book: 00:58:52

You will feel that with each

quote from your book: 00:58:53

exhalation.

quote from your book: 00:58:56

Your attention will naturally go

quote from your book: 00:58:59

to the spot between your eyebrows.

quote from your book: 00:59:00

In Yoga

quote from your book: 00:59:03

it is called Third

quote from your book: 00:59:04

Eye.

quote from your book: 00:59:27

Now relax, breathe normally.

quote from your book: 00:59:31

The

quote from your book: 00:59:33

third exercise

quote from your book: 00:59:35

is you inhale

quote from your book: 00:59:37

as you take your head back,

quote from your book: 00:59:40

all the way back, inhale.Your chin to the ceiling, all

quote from your book: 00:59:46

the way to the ceiling.

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Do not strain.

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Exhale as you bring your chin

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to your chest.

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Inhale as you move

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your head back.

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Inhalation is accompanied

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by the movement of the

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head.

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Exhale as you bend forward.

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Inhale as

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you come back to normal.

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And feel the pulsating energy

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field in your

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brain.

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You have created a shift

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from thinking mind.

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To pulsating,

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spiritual energy

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field.

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And feel those pulsations

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trickle down.

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Through your nervous system.

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Throughout your entire body.

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Feel that pulsating energy

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through your palms and your arms.

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Through your upper body.

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And through your lower body.

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Feel that.

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Move into the deeper

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part of your

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energy body.

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Because you are reactive,

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you are completely relaxed.

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Your energy field

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is undivided, whole.

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There is no separation

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between your inner

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energy body field

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and the cosmic energy.

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Feel there is no separation.

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Between you,

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your own inner body.

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And the cosmic body.

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Feel

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the complete

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harmony.

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Balance

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within

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and without.

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There is no inside

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and outside.

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To the energy being that you are

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now.

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Feel that now you have shifted

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from time bound

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thinking mind.

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To Timeless

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energy body.

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And the soul being

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that you are.

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Feel the new sense of peace.

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Tranquillity.

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And stillness

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descend upon you.

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And shower you.

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The Grace.

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Divine.

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Allow yourself to drop

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into the deepest level of

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tranquility, peace, and stillness.

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And you are connected.

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The soul being presence

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of God within.

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This is what Christ meant

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when he said,

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be still

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and know that I am God.

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Realise that you have

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awakened and connected to

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the presence of God within yourself.

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You know that

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your identification

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with your false ego mind

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is dropped.

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You have established

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a relationship with

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who you are.

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A divine presence.

quote from your book: 01:06:29

Now you have broken

quote from your book: 01:06:31

the false relationship

quote from your book: 01:06:38

with the false ego mind.

quote from your book: 01:06:40

And to identify with as i am and

quote from your book: 01:06:46

you have reconnected.

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With the being that I am

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with the soul presence.

quote from your book: 01:06:58

Feel the completion

quote from your book: 01:07:02

feel the oneness.

quote from your book: 01:07:09

The experience of oneness

quote from your book: 01:07:14

you are in now.

quote from your book: 01:07:18

It's called by different names.

quote from your book: 01:07:22

We call it God.

quote from your book: 01:07:26

We call it love.

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We call it

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I am.

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We call it being.

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We call it yoga.

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But they are all experience of

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oneness within.

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You have experienced

quote from your book: 01:09:26

the yoga,

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of relationships

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between you and yourself.

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With capital S.

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The true self that

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you are.

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Now bring your awareness

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back to your body.

quote from your book: 01:11:05

And remember

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any time you have

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any conflict between you and

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yourself or you

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and other.

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Are you in life situation?

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Remember, your reaction

quote from your book: 01:11:23

is coming from within

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you.

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Witness and withdraw from

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it.

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And you will suddenly drop

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into relationship

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with who you are.

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The divine within you.

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Practise this meditation.

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I've done ten guided

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meditations.

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And it gives many different ways

quote from your book: 01:12:12

to enter into it.

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You can select one or two

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that works best for you.

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Then practise it

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again and again.

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And learn how to be

quote from your book: 01:12:29

in the relationship with yourself.

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And practise it in your

quote from your book: 01:12:34

relationship with others.

quote from your book: 01:12:37

And you will get better.

quote from your book: 01:12:40

In the outer

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and inner

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at the same time.

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Now, gradually

quote from your book: 01:12:51

open your eyes.

quote from your book: 01:13:00

Thank you very

quote from your book: 01:13:05

much.

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The ten different meditations

quote from your book: 01:13:14

I have so far are so powerful, it can

quote from your book: 01:13:16

change your life completely

quote from your book: 01:13:18

because it has a philosophy

quote from your book: 01:13:20

and a guided meditation together.

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It's on our website

quote from your book: 01:13:26

people can really practise.

quote from your book: 01:13:29

And there is no

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price to it.

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Because

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what is worth changing

quote from your book: 01:13:36

your life?

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It is priceless.

quote from your book: 01:13:40

There's no price to it.

quote from your book: 01:13:43

So that is why

quote from your book: 01:13:45

for many years

quote from your book: 01:13:47

I have practised this.

quote from your book: 01:13:49

Finally, I have come to realise

quote from your book: 01:13:51

how it works.

quote from your book: 01:13:53

So that is what I have built

quote from your book: 01:13:55

into the meditation techniques

quote from your book: 01:13:58

that allows the people

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to be free from self caused

quote from your book: 01:14:02

suffering in relationship

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particularly.

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Well, thank you for being such an

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example of applying

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these teachings and bringing

quote from your book: 01:14:13

awareness to all of us and the

quote from your book: 01:14:15

tools, from

quote from your book: 01:14:17

the book that we can refer back to.

quote from your book: 01:14:19

To all that you have on the website,

quote from your book: 01:14:20

for those that haven't visited

quote from your book: 01:14:23

AmritYoga.org

quote from your book: 01:14:25

there are some amazing tools and

quote from your book: 01:14:27

I know, Gurudev, you do weekly

quote from your book: 01:14:29

meditations so people can come

quote from your book: 01:14:31

and get a teaching, enjoy

quote from your book: 01:14:33

meditation with you, live on Mondays

quote from your book: 01:14:35

and Fridays and all of that can be

quote from your book: 01:14:37

found on the website.

quote from your book: 01:14:38

And I just want to express my

quote from your book: 01:14:39

gratitude for today.

quote from your book: 01:14:41

Incredibly insightful conversation.

quote from your book: 01:14:45

Thank you. It was so nice

quote from your book: 01:14:47

to be with you and Catherine.

quote from your book: 01:14:50

So thank you.

quote from your book: 01:14:52

Thank you so, so much.

quote from your book: 01:14:54

Absolutely beautiful conversation.

quote from your book: 01:14:56

I will reiterate Danielle's words,

quote from your book: 01:14:59

fantastic resources.

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And we will put all

quote from your book: 01:15:03

the links to, whether you're

quote from your book: 01:15:04

listening to on the podcast, on

quote from your book: 01:15:06

Danielle's channel, on my channel,

quote from your book: 01:15:08

all the links of how to connect and

quote from your book: 01:15:11

get the book access, the meditations

quote from your book: 01:15:13

and the other resources that you've

quote from your book: 01:15:15

got will be below.

quote from your book: 01:15:17

Thank you so much for your time.

quote from your book: 01:15:18

We all very much appreciate you.

quote from your book: 01:15:20

Question-answer

quote from your book: 01:15:22

session for people

quote from your book: 01:15:24

who have heard this conversation.

quote from your book: 01:15:27

It's not easy to

quote from your book: 01:15:29

understand and practise

quote from your book: 01:15:31

in a practical life.

quote from your book: 01:15:33

So I tell you, as

quote from your book: 01:15:35

they cannot question,

quote from your book: 01:15:37

I can answer.

quote from your book: 01:15:39

That would be wonderful.

quote from your book: 01:15:41

That's so generous of you.

quote from your book: 01:15:42

So, please, anyone watching this,

quote from your book: 01:15:44

please do leave your comments below

quote from your book: 01:15:46

or connect with Danielle

quote from your book: 01:15:49

or I, both our details will be below

quote from your book: 01:15:50

and we can take you up on that

quote from your book: 01:15:52

really kind offer because I think

quote from your book: 01:15:54

never has there been a time more

quote from your book: 01:15:55

when people need to be putting this

quote from your book: 01:15:57

into place.

quote from your book: 01:15:58

So thank you. We will get that

quote from your book: 01:15:59

arranged.

quote from your book: 01:16:01

You're welcome.

quote from your book: 01:16:03

Namaste

Episode 14

#14 How to Have Perfect Relationships

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About the Podcast

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Catherine Edwards

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